Coping With A Fulfillment Deficit And The Importance Of Screaming

This last week has kept me from writing, and that’s made things rough. I get great peace and pleasure from my time on here. It fulfills the hell outta me! Going without that kind of satisfaction really wears on my nerves now.

It’s one thing to go without a fix, but it’s quite another to miss out on contentment because your time (even your sleeping hours) is consumed with your partner, needy children, and a teething baby. Putting your own needs on the back burner so that you can take care of everyone else’s can make ya go a little bat-shit. I’ve been screaming and shouting pretty regularly. Yeah, judge me all you want, but it feels damn good to blast that crap straight out of me. It’s productive.

I’ve been trying to figure out how the hell I can balance everything and keep some sort of control. Aside from doing shorter blog posts or writing at 4 am, I’ve come across another way of improving things…

I created a Tumblr account today, and I came across a great blurb while I was on there. It basically said that the times we feel like we’re ready to snap is actually when we’re on the verge of greatness. Considering how my frustrations are due to not writing, this made perfect sense. I’m ready for a profound moment, and it’s right there waiting for me, but I have to process the present so I can reach it. Now I don’t feel so frustrated by my frustration. It isn’t that I’m being unsuccessful or unaccomplished, no. I’m on the verge of having a realization that will advance me to a higher level of being, and I’ve just got to allow myself to get there however I get there.

I’m sure I’ll still scream for sanity’s sake here and there, but at least I can get a little satisfaction out of my needy moments. Who knows? Maybe I’ll finally master shorter blog posts too…

Enjoy the present! After all, it’s all we ever really have.

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